Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

ll Don't You Worry Child- Swedish House Mafia ll
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My last set for now, guys.
In case you aren't aware of this, but I'm going on vacation for ten days.
I'll be going to Italy and I'm not going to bring my laptop because I don't want to deal with having to cart it around, as we're staying at a lot of hotels and I don't trust people and I'm terrified of forgetting it or losing it, and because I won't have that much time to be on it at all, anyways.
Also because I really want to enjoy my time over there without the Internet. It'll be my first time overseas, my first time out of the US, so I really want to enjoy it to the fullest and experience everything I can. I also want to spend some time with my family because this may be the last family vacation we'll take because my brother will be going off to college next year, a college that's across the state.
So yeah, I'm going to be going away and I'm really excited. Once I get back I'll be sure to tell you guys all about it, I'm sure.
I leave tomorrow and I doubt I'll have time to check on here tomorrow, so I figured I'd put this up now.
Bye for now!
xx D

ll Maybe Tonight- The Summer Set ll
Two sets in one day? I'm on a roll! ;)
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Meera Desai, 19
+ likes: Books, Vitamin Water, casual clothing, wavy hair, routines, sneakers, limeade.
+ dislikes: Rude costumers, loud parties, strong alcohol, screaming children, high heels, peanuts, people without patience.
Always walking on the safe side of life, never daring to live outside her comfort zone. That sentence just about describes Meera. She was always the perfect student, the perfect friend (although she had few), never the one to disappoint, always aiming to please. However, Meera wasn't the most social butterfly in the land of Healdsburg. Meera had a few, close fiends and that was that. She didn't live out her four years in high school like the average teenager. She didn't go out and drink on the weekends, she didn't obtain a fake ID, she didn't take a drag off a joint at a party. Instead she stayed at home every Friday night and she studied and she read and she had a pretty reserved life. And then she graduated, with high honors, no less, and she was thrust in the world of colleges and decisions, careers and salaries. But she still couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life. To her, there were so many options. She was accepted to many colleges, but she decided to defer for a year, to figure her life out, to figure herself out, much to the despair of her parents. She needed a way to get out of the house though, a way to keep her as far away from her parents as she could, so she got a job at the airport. And no, she's not a flight attendant and one of those ladies that check your bags in at check-in, instead she's working at a little mini-mart-like kiosk. You know, those places where you come to get some snacks while waiting for a delayed flight, or to get magazines as reading material before your flight. She's working there full time, watching everyone come and go, just as she stands right where she is.
+ model: Shay Mitchell
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Playlist;
 
"What now? I just can't figure it out."- What Now, Rihanna
 
"I was nurtured, I was sheltered, I was curious and young."- In This Life, Delta Goodrem
 
"Tonight you're letting go, under the burning glow, we're too young to gold this all on our own."- Runaway, Mat Kearney
 
"I want something more than this, I've given all I can give."- Is Anybody Listening, Danity Kane
 
"I'm searching the missing part of my heart."- This Is My Life- Edward Maya
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ll Can't Hold Us- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Might not have time to publish this tomorrow, so I figured I may as well do it now.
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June 16: We're getting out for a bit, so after we've closed up, we're hitting a club downtown. Luckily, it's an eighteen and up club, so no worries, you'll get in. So let loose and have some fun, but don't forget that you have work in the morning.
-
To be quite fair, clubs were never my scene. Never my place.
Same as parties.
The only reason I even went to parties in high school was because I was dragged there by my friends, with no other option other than just sitting at home, alone on a Friday night, with nobody but my mind. The thought of that alone scared the sh.t out of me, so I always took the offer to go to parties, no matter how much I loathed them entirely.
Everything about parties made me uncomfortable- the close proximity, the smell of weed floating throughout the house, the outstanding amount of PDA.
It gave me a difficult feeling, a mixture of uncomfortableness and nausea.
 
Entering the local, downtown Allentown club, Stooges, which was crowded, which made sense, as it was a Sunday night, the night for all of the college kids on summer break to party without worry of Monday morning classes.
And partying they were.
They crowded the dance floor as well as the bar area, and as we entered the area, pushing past couples groping one another, we finally each got a seat at the bar.
"What can I get for you guys?" A younger bartender comes to us, going down the line of us and taking our drink orders.
 
Within a few minutes, our drinks, an assortment of vodkas, gin and tonics, beers and my special Shirley Temple, are passed down to us.
"Isn't this fun?" I grin, taking a sip out of the straw of my drink before playing with the little plastic umbrella.
Maybe fun wasn't my choice word to define this. It wasn't exactly fun at all. But why not liven up the mood?
 
"Who orders a Shirley Temple at a bar?" Sunday asks, staring questioningly at my drink.
 
"Uh, I do," I shrug, "I'm not the biggest fan of alcohol," I explain.
 
"I doubt sunshine Barbie could take at least one sip of vodka," Nik snorts.
 
I roll my eyes, "I can take whatever the hell liquor I want, but I just don't want to," I defend.
 
"It's amazing you two haven't slit each other's throats," Hunter snorts.
 
"A miracle, at that," Sierra says as she downs the rest of her drink, vodka straight, before raising her hand, asking the bartender for another one.
I'd heard stories of Sierra being the resident party girl, never took them for true though, but right before my eyes, it was all appearing. But if she liked to party, then she liked to party. And who was I to say anything about that?
 
"Sure is," I agree, sipping my fruity drink.
 
"Come on, let's dance!" Sierra suggests just as she finishes her second drink of the night. We all mumble and shrug. Aren't we just a fascinating crew?
They reluctantly agree though, even Sunday, who seems less that thrilled to be dancing but goes along with Stas, who seems to want the real, American club scene.
Paul, Nik and I stay behind though, keeping out seats at the bar as we watch them on the dance floor, amongst the group of college students.
 
I go back to my drink before looking at Paul, who's staring interestingly at Sunday, the kind of look that only happens when you really like someone, the kind of look, looking at someone as if they'd put the stars in the sky themselves. That's how she was staring at Sunday.
Part of me didn't blame him. Sunday was gorgeous, but I didn't see him as the type to like her. Heck, I didn't even see Sunday herself to be the type to be interested in guys, or anyone for that matter.
I grin though, giggling, "So… Sunday, huh?" I speak up, Paul snapping out of his daze and turning to look at me.
 
"What about her?"
 
"You like her," I say, "I mean, it's obvious," I point out.
 
"Since when are you the love guru?" Nikolai says with a snort.
 
"I've been a he.ll of a lot more relationships than you have," I shoot back before turning to Paul once again.
 
"I don't like Sunday… not in that way,"
 
"Uh, yes, you do,"
 
"Uh, no, I don't," He says defensively.
 
"The way you were looking at her, though," I smile sweetly, "You /have/ to like her,"
 
Paul rolls his eyes, "You're ridiculous. God forbid I look at a person! You probably look at Nik like that all the f.cking time!"
 
I blushed, shaking my head, "Nope, I don't," I say, "But you like her, I know it!"
 
"It did kinda look like you liked her, man," Nik chimes in before taking a sip of his drink.
 
I nod, "See? Nik agrees with me and he never agrees with me on anything,"
 
"I am not agreeing with you," Nik corrects me, "I'm just purely making an observation,"
 
I snort, "Yeah, an observation that was suggested by me,"
 
"Speaking of liking people, when do you think you two will….?" Paul trails off and Nik and I both look at him, clearly dumbfounded.
 
"Uhm, what?" I laugh.
 
"Yeah, what the he.ll are you talking about?"
 
"The best relationships are the ones when two people begin hating each other," Paul makes a point.
 
I shake my head, "We may hate each other, but definitely not enough to end up loving each other,"
 
"No way," Nik says, "And that's final,"
 
Paul shrugs, "Yeah, I guess you're right,"
 
"We are, but back to the main subject- Sunday," I grin.
 
"I don't like her!" Paul exclaims.
 
"Sounds like you do," I sing-song.
 
"Will you just leave me alone about it?"
 
"Fine, fine," I roll my eyes, "Your secret's safe with me,"
 
Nik gets up, "I'm going to go and dance,"
 
"There's no way we'll ever get together," I laugh, "That was a funny suggestion though," I say to Paul.
 
"I doubt he'd ever be in a relationship. Not with his past,"
 
"Past?"
 
"He doesn't like relationships. Sure, he has little flings that last a week or two, but nothing more. Either that or random hookups. You seem like the type that want something serious anyway, so that'd go over so well," He says the last part sarcastically.
 
"Wow," I smile, "I never knew you were that good at reading people,"
 
"Oh shut up," He laughs, "But am I right?"
 
"About me wanting a serious relationship? Yeah, totally. I've always wanted that and rarely got it,"
 
"Lots of heart breaks?"
 
I sip my Shirley, thinking about it. Was it really heart break? I'd always considered it so. But thinking about it now, it sounded so dramatic, so severe, so serious, so I just shrugged, "Maybe," I say before finishing my drink and hopping off the stool, "I'm going to dance. Care to join me?"
 
"Nah, I'll stay here," He says.
 
"Suit yourself," I say making my way over to the dance floor, joining Sunday, Anastasia and Hunter. Sierra is dancing with some guy, while Nik is dancing too close to some girl, whispering something in her ear.
My thoughts process back to what Paul had said, about Nik and I. Was he serious? Did the best relationships really come out of hatred? Or was he just poking fun at our rather complicated relationship?
Still, seeing him with some other girl, it made me the tiniest bit mad. He wasn't mine, he never would be, I never even thought of him in that light, yet here I was, jealousy coursing through me, the tiniest bit.
He looked back at me, grinning slightly, but I turn away, back to the girls, tilting my head back, up to the bright lights of the club, letting my blonde hair fall down and my hips swing, shaking off everything.

ll Stay- Rihanna ll
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June 14: We're having a bit of fun tonight after dark. Once the park clears out and it's just us, we've been given permission to have a bit of a party. Drinks, food, and we're even allowed to ride some of the rides. But it's still a party, so feel free to bring some clothes to change into since you may as well look your best while having fun.
-
The chlorine infested pool nestled my blonde waves as I stared up at the sky, dark, growing darker by the minute, the only light available was the blue pool one, enlightening from the bottom of the wave pool, where its home was. My arms and legs moved slowly and softly in the water, taking in the silence, the calm, the everything that came once the entire park cleared out. No guests, no interruptions, just me, and the water.
The rest of the staff was off, doing whatever they had to, whether it be closing up their lockers or getting changed. So for now, I had the time to enjoy the swimming. I hadn't changed yet, still in my favorite bikini, using the wave pool (the waves turned off) as my own personal pool.
I never realized how calming swimming alone was at night. Nobody in the world. Nobody in the universe. It's just you. It's perfection, it's paradise, it's everything that bliss is supposed to be.
 
I'd always loved swimming. I never did it competitively, but I was always the first in the pool whenever we'd open it up every June and always the last to get out once the party was over. I also was the one sneaking in swims in the three a.m. moonlight, when everyone was asleep in my house.
It was always then that I was reminded of how peaceful swimming was. How it was the place that nobody could touch or hurt me. It was my safe haven.
Being alone in the pool here at Dorney, it gave me that same feeling. Safe, secure, under control. Nothing to pull me down, only the lapping water to keep me up.
 
"I'm surprised you don't sink," Nickolai's voice comes and I stop floating, coming right up and looking at him. He's standing at the start of the pool, barefoot, his feet in the shallow water.
 
I rolled my eyes at him, "Go away," I say bluntly, wading in the water, watching him.
 
"No," He says harshly, "I wanna swim," He says slowly coming further and further down into the water and paddling my way, "You leave,"
 
"Uh, no," I say working my way backwards, away from him, "You're stuck with my sinking as.s," I reply.
 
He says nothing, instead continuing to swim, doing some laps and moving around before finally lying on his back, looking up at the star filled sky, exactly as I had been before. It's strange seeing him like that though. As if he's in such a vulnerable state, a bubble easy to burst.
 
"I didn't know you liked swimming," I say, returning to my original form, mimicking the position Nik was in.
 
"Why do you think I became a lifeguard?" His voice drips with annoyance.
 
"Uh, because you needed money, much like everyone else who works here?" I rolled my eyes, "Few actually like the job they're doing you know,"
 
"Well, I do," He mumbles.
 
"That's surprising,"
 
"Why so?"
 
I shrug, "I don't know, you seem like you always have something better to do… like you'd rather be somewhere else,"
 
"Well, I'd rather be banging some chick, but you know," He says, a hint of joking in his tone.
 
I laugh. I had told myself that I wouldn't put any effort forth to him. I didn't want to. But maybe he wasn't that bad of a guy. He put on such a rude front… maybe that was the real him though, or maybe he did have a softer, lighter side. A side he may show to me one day, or a side that he'd never reveal to anyone. It was such a mystery but that was what kept it interesting, because you never knew when a person would choose to show their cards or not.
 
We're quiet for awhile, the silence returning to what it once was when I was in there, all by myself, as Nik and I both lie on our backsides, staring up at the blue, silky sky stretched across our view.
"Come on! There's a party about to happen and you two are gonna be missing it!" Paul's voice echoes out to use and we snap out of our state of euphoria, facing him before swimming to the artificial shore.
 
We get out of the water and I head over to my bag, sitting quietly on one of the chairs. Sunday, Anastasia and Hunter are waiting for us, watching us beside Paul, "I just have to get changed, gimme a sec," I say as I throw my bag over my shoulder, heading away from the wave pool and towards the changing rooms, where I slip out of my bandeau bikini and into my bright tank top, printed denim shorts, and favorite sandals, then heading back to the group, Nik who had gotten ready was standing there, waiting and I grinned, "Let's get this party started," I smile. "What first?"
 
"I say a few rides before we have some drinks and food," Hunter suggests, "Any objections?"
 
No one says anything, instead we begin walking amongst the park, making out way out of the water park area and into the park, randomly walking and going on a few little rides like Hang Time, Dominator, Demon Drop, and Musik Express before coming to Steel Force.
"Ready?" I say to Anastasia, watching her face looking up at the huge red roller coaster.
 
"Yeah," She nods as we get into the very first cart.
 
"Thanks, Sunday!" I say to her as we strap ourselves in, my fingers reaching for the bar, holding on in a tight grip.
 
Nik is sitting with Paul right behind us, West and Colton following in the car behind them.
 
"Yeah, yeah," Sunday says as she begins the ride, her monotone speech going on about keeping arms and feet inside at all times, blah blah blah, enjoy your ride on Steel Force.
And then it begins.
It goes up and Anastasia looks scared for a moment as the coaster pushes and pushes towards the top of the hill, but just as we reached the tip, she smiled.
I smiled too as we plunged down under, wind caught in my face, hair whipping around my face as the roller coaster took me down, our screams and laughs echoing, reminding me that I was ready for this ride.
-
Included: @ocean-blue-xo @n-efelibata @followyourbliss

ll There Is Hope- Zoo Brazil ll
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Stepping off the crowded, small Air Tahiti plane and into the sticky, humid air outside was almost like a dream come true. A seven hour flight, a long one at that, seated next to Naomi, no less, and I was about ready to blow my brains out. I'd never been more cramped and uncomfortable, not to mention tempted. Her body in such close proximity to mine… how could I not be a little bit tempted? I tried to keep my calm, but on the inside, the inner twelve year old was screaming, exactly as I would whenever I got to be near a crush.
But although Naomi was my crush, I had a hard time reminding myself that she was also my friend. We had started anew, the old memories wiped clean from our minds. In our book, it was a fresh slate. Which, could be looked at as good or bad, but right now I was slightly in between. On one hand, I didn't have to have any second hand embarrassment for our drunken encounter, but on the other, we couldn't even reminisce on our short, fumbled time together, because although disastrous, it was good, something to remember.
Instead, I was sticky replaying it in the caves of my mind, never mentioning or referring to it, instead just keeping it as something special, in my brain, under lock and key.
 
"Oh come on!" Naomi says to me as we head inside the small airport, right for the baggage claim. "It's like a little vacation." She nudges me.

I rolled my eyes, navigating through the people and the airport, flat sandals smacking on the floors, "A vacation," I scoff tiredly, "Please. I stay here for a week and I'm shooting swimwear every single day of it,"
 
"Speaking of which," Naomi says once we reach the carousel, right before she grabs her suitcase off of it, "I never saw you as much of a swimsuit girl… I thought you were above all that," She says as I grab mine, quickly making my way for the outside, to get a taxi to my over water bungalow, Naomi trailing behind, continuing, "What changed your mind?"
 
"Nothing," I laugh as I step into the line for the taxi, right as one pulls up, the driver getting out eagerly to help us with our bags, "My manager talked me into it because it pays good, no matter how uncomfortable I am."
 
"Uncomfortable?" She raises an eyebrow.
 
I shrug as I get into the cab, "I'm not the swimsuit type," I explain, "That's just how it is. I'm used to high fashion. Swimwear is completely out of my comfort zone,"
 
"I see,"
 
"Have you ever had a type of photography you don't feel comfortable shooting?" I say, looking at her.
 
She looks at me, silent for a moment before answering, "I mean… yeah. I'm not that big on shooting naked editorials, necessarily," She shrugs, "But I mean, I love what I do, so I can't really be picky,"
 
"True," I chime, "Who knows… maybe I'll have a change of heart after this shoot,"
 
She stays silent for a moment and I do too until we reach the hotel, the bungalows standing up above the lapping turquoise waters. We head into the hotel, where we're given room keys and the number of each of our bungalows. Heading over the connecting piers, I reach my bungalow, or we both do, rather. Apparently, we've been given only one bungalow, due to booking problems.
I wouldn't necessarily mind this if there had been two beds, a reasonable distance between. Instead, there was only one bed. And this bed wasn't the biggest.
 
"What? You don't want to share a room with me?" Naomi questions playfully and I shake my head as I settle into the room, unpacking my suitcases and getting comfy.
 
"No, it's not that," I chuckle, "I was just expecting my own room. But it doesn't matter really. I'd rather share it with you than some stranger," I say once I finish putting my items into the drawers, getting up and sitting on the full sized bed, bounding on it slightly.
 
"Good to know," Naomi says with a grin, sitting down beside me on the bed. "So… what now? We both don't start work until tomorrow,"
 
"Why don't we go to the beach?" I suggest, standing up, "I mean, it's beautiful out, we may as well kill some time,"
 
"Sounds like a plan," She says, heading to her drawer and pulling out a bikini, taking it into the bathroom to change.
 
This would be a win for me. I'd get to visit the beach and see Naomi in a bikini.
Sure, I'd seen Naomi in even less than a bikini before, but still, it'd be nice to refresh my memory.
I follow Naomi's lead and grab a bikini from my drawer, slipping my clothes off, and the small pieces of material onto my thin body, then turning towards the dresser, gazing into the mirror for further inspection.
 
"Oh come on, you look fine," Naomi says from the bathroom doorway, which she's leaning against, two towels in hand, "Come on," She waves, gesturing towards the main door of our suite.
 
We walk out, onto the pier connecting the many bungalows, but finally onto mainland, our bare feet in the sand, the beach basically empty except for two girls, a brunette and a blonde with plumped lips, holding hands while lying down in the sand.
 
"Look like your kind of people," Naomi elbows me as we pass by them.
 
"Shut up," I laugh.
 
They did look like my kind of people, though.
They looked happy. So happy, I envied them slightly. They had a relationship that was proud, and that truly showed. They were fearless, they weren't afraid of anything. They were out and about, and clearly so happy in love. So purely, blissfully happy. A happiness in a relationship that I could never have… something I could never possess.
 
I smile looking at them, ah, to be young and in love… that must be a nice feeling.
"This spot's good," Naomi says suddenly, plopping down in the sand.
 
I sit down as well, arranging myself, lying down flat in the sand, looking up at the sky, sinking in. Maybe this could be like a little vacation. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad and as boring as I thought it would be. It could be relaxing, even.
I found myself sitting up though, and then standing tall, suddenly tired of sitting and lying, tired of the small bit of relaxation I would get to experience.
 
"What?" Naomi looks at me.
 
"I'm going in the water," I say backing towards the ocean, "Care to join me?"
 
She stands up without answering me, instead just walking alongside me until we wade into the ocean, the salty, teal waters coming towards us lightly as we go deeper, until we're in waist deep. The water was cool to the touch, but somehow perfect, refreshing.
"This is nice," I say, splashing Naomi a bit, a small giggle escaping from my lips.
 
"See, I told you this could be fun," She grins at me, splashing some waves right back.
 
Maybe she was right.
Maybe this little 'vacation' could be fun.
Sure, the temptation was there as we were in the water. It was going to be here as we slept in the same bed that night. It would be there the longevity of the trip. It would be there forever… or at least until I stopped liking her.
Until that happened, I had to deal with it. I couldn't let it power over me, overtake me.
So I floated, on my back, staring up at the blue sky as Naomi paddled around me, the temptation no longer a bother.
-
My stories lately have been so short and pointless, but I apologize… better, more dramatic stories, of course, are going to come.

ll Clarity- Zedd ll
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"Why don't you ever talk about it though?" Cherry says as she licks her finger, loudly flipping the page of the new edition of Seventeen magazine. She's lying on her bed, on her stomach, legs up in the air as she reads the magazine.
I'm sitting at the top of her bed, glancing through the pages of Elle, urging myself not to roll my eyes at her rather repetitive question.
Ever since our time at the bar, she kept asking me the question I had refused to answer.
Why don't you ever talk about se.x?
Why do you never talk about past boyfriends?
How was your ex in bed?
It never ended. And she didn't get the hint that I didn't want to talk about it. After all the ignoring I had been doing relating to her question, or all of the 'I don't want to talk about it' she still kept going. She was persistent with this, but she didn't understand.
She didn't get it.
 
"Uh, because I don't want to," I say looking at her, "Why don't you understand that I don't want to?"
 
"Gianna," Cherry flips over to her side, turning and facing me, "You're my best friend. I'm your best friend. We tell each other these things,"
 
"Yes, we do, but not if we don't want to," I say shutting my magazine and laying it down on the bed.
 
"I just don't get it, I guess," She bites her lip, "I mean, I've shared my experiences with you. From the one night stands and the walks of shame, I've told you all of it… and you can't even tell me about your sexual encounters,"
 
I shrug my shoulders, "Maybe there's not much to share, Cherry,"
 
"Wait," She says, looking at me, thinking for a second, "Are you… a v.rgin?" She says this slowly, as if contemplating the thought of this.
 
How do I answer this? In technicality, I wasn't. I lost it, not in the way I wanted to though. So I did consider myself one. But how did I tell Cherry this? Especially since I didn't want to talk about it. I never wanted to talk about it. I never even told anyone. I kept it burned in the back of my mind. The memories kept coming always, reappearing in nightmares, or even in random moments during class. They never left. They never would leave. Telling someone wouldn't make them go away, so what was the difference?
So I stayed quiet, picking my magazine back up and angrily flipping through the pages.
 
"Oh my gosh… you are!" Cherry squeals, "G, why didn't you tell me? It's nothing to be embarrassed about but oh my gosh, I have to get you laid,"
 
"Cherry," I sighed tiredly, "Can you not?"
 
"Gianna, oh my gosh, this is so exciting!" She smiles, "I'm totally hooking you up with a boy and then you'll lose it and I'll get to hear all about it-"
 
"Cherry," I say, this time louder and more stern, getting her attention. Her happy expression fell, turning to a frown.
 
"What?"
 
"I just…" I pause, thinking of what I'm trying to say, what I want to say, "I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to get laid, I just… I don't want to talk about this… any of this," I sigh.
 
"Well why not?" She says, coming closer to me, "Come on… I was just trying to help,"
 
"Don't… I'm fine. I don't need to get laid, I don't need to lose it, I don't need any of it,"
 
"Okay… fine," She says coming closer and giving me a kiss, right on the lips. "I'm just saying all of this because I care about you… you know that, right?"
 
I know that… of course I do. I wonder how she means that though. Because I was still confused as f.ck. We were… complicated. And although I didn't want to put a label on us anytime soon, I at least wish I had some insight as to just what was going on with us. Friends… friends with benefits (well, the benefit of kissing)? What were we? What were we doing?
"I know," I say, attempting a smile. "Cherry what are we doing?"
 
"What do you mean?"
 
"I mean… what are we… like.. I don't get it," I sigh, looking down at my hands.
 
"We're friends… best friends," She looks at me, "Why do you ask?"
 
"Best friends that kiss?" I raise an eyebrow.
 
"Yeah…" She bites her lip, "Why, there's nothing wrong with that… plenty of people do that. I mean, we're friends… our kissing is friendship… it's normal," She shrugs her shoulder, looking down, just as I had been. "Do you wanna go get a coffee? I can use the caffeine right now," She hops off the bed, slipping on her shoes.
 
"Sure," I say, strapping mine on and following her downstairs and into her car, driving in short silence before we reach Starbucks. We get our coffees, sitting down at a small table for two right by the window. While sipping my coffee and staring out the window, I think of something, turning back to Cherry.
"You're good at changing the subject…. you know that?"

ll Someday- The Summer Set ll
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June 12: Rise and shine, beauties! Today's your very first day of work. Whether you'll be guarding your station at the life guard chair at Runaway River or whether you're vending one of the gift shops, enjoy your day because it's the start of the rest of your summer. After work, there's going to be a little mingling for the new and old employees alike.
-
The alarm clock by my bedside yanked me out of sleep, just as it did every morning at eight-thirty, my time for waking up and preparation for my day ahead.
Whether my day just be normal, easy, like every other day, or whether it be special, like today just so happened to be, it still started up the same time, every day. It had become a vital part of my routine, one of the only routine things in my life at all, actually. Everything else seemed to forget any sort of routine, instead my activities and my thoughts and emotions ran wild endlessly. Nothing was guaranteed for me, nothing granted to be good, or even likely the same every single day.
Maybe that's why part of me always dreaded pulling those covers off of me, dreaded pushing the dismiss button, because I never knew what the day would hold. Would it be a good day or a bad day? Good emotionally? Or good physically? Good in all aspects, or bad in all aspects? Everything was marching to the beat of its own drum, not caring to follow any sort of schedule, much like I'd prefer.
But getting out of bed today, my short legs swinging over the edge of my bed, I knew that today was the start of something new, and whether good or bad, I had to deal with it, face my day head on, no matter what the challenges will be.
The only challenge I could even think of as I stepped into the shower was of starting this new job, at Dorney, the place I'd come to know and love over the past few years, continuously going there every summer, sometimes even more than once. I was scared, nervous, excited, the emotions coming together and tying a deep knot in the pit of my stomach. But overall, I felt happy.
I felt happy as I blow dried my hair, I felt happy as I put on my makeup, I felt happy as I got dressed, and I was even happier by the time I went downstairs, where my dad was already sitting on the island, newspaper in hand, eating a bowl of his favorite, Frosted Flakes, while studying the articles intently.
 
"Good morning!" I cheer as I prance around the island, giving him a kiss on the cheek before heading over to the cabinet, pulling out a box of cereal and then milk from the fridge, combining them in a bowl before setting it all down on a chair across from my dad, digging my spoon in.
 
"Good morning," He says back, setting the paper down, "Big day today, right?"
 
"Dorney," I nod before putting a spoonful of my cereal into my mouth. "I'm excited… but nervous,"
 
"I'm sure you'll be fine, kiddo," He says reassuringly, "Besides, you know that park like the back of your hand. What's the worst that can happen?"
 
I finish chewing and swallowing before giving my morbid answer, "A kid can be drowning and I won't realize it and he'll die and it'll be all my fault,"
 
"I highly doubt that'll happen, but Lux, I'm sure you'll do great. I mean, you're a great swimmer and you took so many CPR and nursing classes, I'm sure you'll be fantastic,"
 
"Thanks," I smiled.
 
"You know, I think this'll be good for you,"
 
"Yeah…" I nod, thinking about it, "I think it'll be good for me too."
 
After I finished breakfast, I was soon out the door, all set and ready with everything I needed to start my first day. My bikini was on underneath my tank top and shorts, I had a tote bag with any essentials I may need, and my nerves were ever present. But finally, I pulled into the employees only parking and headed inside the park, going to the management offices.
"We're so happy to have you aboard, Lux!" The manager grins at me, "I'll have Sunday show you around, since she is our veteran,"
 
He led me to a dark haired girl, Sunday, who worked at Steel Force. Amazingly though, I found myself remembering the girl from a few summers past. She was mysterious as she led me around the park, around the sights and attractions, the rides I had come to know so well before finally, she led me into Wild Water Kingdom, leading me to Aquablast and then down to Lightening Falls.
"Well, I guess this is your station," She says as I stand beside the second slide, "If you need anything, I'm only across the park,"
 
"Okay," I grinned, "Thanks, Sunday! It was nice meeting you,"
 
"Yeah, yeah," She murmurs heading down the giant bank of stairs and beginning to make her way out of the water park until she was out of my sight.
 
"So," I turned towards the guy who was positioned at the other slide, looking bored and hardly giving me any acknowledgment, "I'm guessing we'll be working together,"
 
"I'm guessing since you're standing there," He says sounding annoyed.
 
"Well, I'm Lux," I offer my hand for him to shake, only getting back an icy glare.
Obviously this guy wasn't the most friendly person in the world. Maybe he just wasn't used to meeting new people though, maybe he wasn't used to introductions and was nervous. Or maybe I was just giving him the benefit of the doubt by making up all these unlikely excuses for him…
 
"Nikolai," He says this expressionless, and he looks at me up and down, "I didn't expect they'd hire someone like you,"
 
"Someone like me?"
 
"Do you really think you'd be able to swim fast enough to save a kid with that body, chubster?"
 
This goes through like a knife, that last word especially sticking around the jab me a few extra times. Chubster, chubster, chubster…. who the hell did this guy think he was?
And there it was, the indication of what my day would be like- horrible.
Horrible, and all because of this as.shole.
 
"Do you really think you'd be able to swim fast enough with that ego? Wouldn't that slow you down, jerk?"
I was done playing miss nicey-nice. I wasn't going to put any effort into a person who clearly wasn't going to make the smallest bit to be nice to me. I mean, why should I? He was clearly an idiot, an idiot I didn't even want association with, an idiot I wasn't looking forward to working with.
 
"Nice comeback, sunshine Barbie," He shoots back just as some guests begin to trickle in, the first guests of the day.
Soon they started approaching, grabbing the complimentary tubes at the bottom and then climbing the stairs, little by little as the line extended on and on.
Already this day felt like it was going to go on and on… in fact, it already was.
 
- - -
 
"Gosh, is he always such a jerk?" I ask to Sunday as I sat down across from her at the circular table, umbrella covering us, my plate containing my lunch in hand.
 
"Don't take it personally," Sunday says with a shrug, "He's mostly always like that… he's just joking,"
 
"Doesn't seem like it," I mutter grabbing a fry.
 
I could take a lot of names. But chubster?
Okay, maybe I was a tiny bit chubby… I had to be. After treatment, I had to gain weight and really maintain my body. I still worked out. I still ate pretty healthy. But the difference was the mannerisms I'd do it in and the mindset as well. I worked out lightly, I indulged, I wanted to be healthy, I wanted to have curves, I had lost my desire for a twig thin appeal.
But that comment almost made me want to have it back.
 
"I don't get why all the girls must like him," Anastasia chimed in, "I mean, he's handsome but with a personality like that it's a let down,"
 
"I completely agree. What's the use of good looks if you don't have a good personality to at least go with it?" I ask.
 
"There is no use," Sunday says blankly. "Point is though, Nickolai is a douc.he and don't get too hurt by it. That's just how he is."
 
"Does he always do that when someone's actually nice to him?"
 
"I don't think he's used to niceness," Sunday shrugs her skinny shoulders, "He's used to being hit on, not genuineness,"
 
"It's whatever," I rolled my eyes, picking up another fry, "I won't let him ruin my sumer,"
 
"Don't let him get to you," Anastasia smiles at me, "Besides, there's wayyyy cuter guys that work at this park,"
 
I laugh, "Probably,"
 
The day went on and on after my lunch break. The guests at Lightening Falls came and went and I stood my guard, in my brightly colored shorts and my bronze bikini top. I had taken off my tank top because it was hot and what better way to be prepared for a drowning than by being in my swimsuit?
Nickolai stayed unpleasant throughout the entire time. He stared at me, his eyes drifting down my body and I had the strongest urge to flip him off, but I restrained from doing so, telling myself to stay calm. I didn't want to get fired on the first day of work just because of him. So I kept my mouth shut even though so many words wanted to come out. I kept my hands to myself even though part of me contemplated throwing him off the tower, but I stayed strong throughout my shift and finally, the water park was closed, and then finally, the full park was shut down.
And our time for mingling was going to be on.
 
We were meeting right in front, right by the carousel that welcomed the park. Walking out of Wild Water Kingdom, I could already see a cute little table with pre poured drinks on it, along with a few small appetizers set out.
The employees were all there, drinking out of red plastic cups. I was instantly taken back to high school almost, back to the rushed and annoying little house parties my classmates would throw. The red cups, the drinks, the people…. but this time there was no making out, no joint being passed around and I was grateful for that.
 
I headed to the table, grabbing a red cup and sipping from it as I headed to Sunday and Anastasia instinctively, who are already gathered in a small circle, along with Nickolai and another guy I find unrecognizable.
"Hey," I say, receiving warm smiles from Anastasia and Sunday and a glare from Nickolai. I shake it off though.
 
"We haven't met," The guy says, turning to me, "But I'm Paul,"
 
"Lux," I say introducing myself, "Nice to meet you,"
 
"You too," He sips from his cup, "You work at the water park?"
 
I nod, "Yep, which is probably why you haven't seen me around," I explain, "I work with Nickolai mostly,"
 
"Unfortunately," He adds in, rolling his eyes.
 
"What's so unfortunate? I mean, you're lucky you've got a pretty girl working with you!"
 
I giggle, "Please," I take a sip from my cup, "But I'll accept that compliment,"
 
"I work near Sunday, at Stinger and Possessed,"
 
"Ah, two of the best roller coasters. Stinger's one of my personal favorites," I comment.
 
"So you've been coming here a lot? You're a local,"
 
I nod, "Yep. Dorney's been my favorite since I was a little kid,"
 
"I'll have to go on Stinger," Anastasia says, "I haven't been on any of the rides yet,"
 
"Oh, well don't worry, we're taking you on all of them!" I giggle, "They're all so much fun,"
 
"Except for Steel Force," Sunday says, "But maybe that's just because after watching it go up and down over fifty times a day, it's made me think it's lost it's touch,"
 
"Steel Force is the best one, hands down," I grin, "But tomorrow I heard we're having a little party after closing and we'll be allowed to ride everything so then's our time to conquer,"
 
"Can't wait," Anastasia chuckles, taking a sip from her cup.
 
"Yeah," I smile, "I can't wait either."
 
Even though Nickolai was a jerk, and even though I was stuck with him, I wasn't going to let him ruin my summer. This summer was supposed to be fun for me, a way to take my mind off of everything that had been happening in my mind. A way to forget about my problems, if only for a little while.
I intended to have a great time here, I intended to enjoy myself, make some friends, meet some people, and enjoy life for once.
I wanted to feel confident, and free, and happy, and peaceful, and just overly enthralled about life.
And this summer I am going to feel just that.

ll Nightingale- Demi Lovato ll
-
Lux Narcissus, 20
Job: Life guard at multiple water rides, mainly Lightening Falls and Aquablast.
The girl with a big smile, an ever-changing hair color, and a seemingly endless amount of tattoos all in pretty discreet locations, Lux is immediately the girl to capture your attention. Always smiling, always bubbly despite what you may assume by her signature 'stay strong' tattoos on both of her wrists. Lux truly has been through a lot at such a young age. A roller coaster of emotions between battling an eating disorder, self harm, and bipolar disorder. But she's still been able to risen back up, and get on her feet once again, stronger than ever. But to top off her various struggles, she has also had an overwhelming amount of heartbreak when it comes to her love life. Many guys have taken interest in here, and well, it's obvious as to why. She's stunning and with a personality that brightens up the room within seconds of meeting her. She's taken their offers over and over again, only to get her heart broken, again and again, the same cycle of breakups, crying, and altogether devastation. So, this summer she's made a pact- No love. She's done with boys, or she says at least, and she swears she won't date until she's back in school, once there's even the slightest chances of having a serious relationship. But summer is the time for letting go and having fun, and having fun may just involve a guy. She took this job, hoping to get some new experiences under her belt, and maybe finding true love will be one of them.
Model: Demi Lovato
Taken by @deidra-le-reve
Collection: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/collection?id=2627869
-
Hi! My name is Lux, I just turned twenty, and this'll be my first summer working at Dorney, after many years of going there every single summer. I love to swim, hence my job as a lifeguard, and I'm hoping this'll be a great summer job.
I look forward to meeting and working with all of you! We should all definitely hang out sometime.
x L

ll The Lonely- Christina Perri ll
-
"I'm back!" I squeal just as Cherry opens the door of her house, revealing her and her beautiful face, her beautiful body, her beautiful everything, all of which I had missed so much when I was gone.
Cannes and the festival had been great, of course, but nothing beat home. I had looked forward to coming home, especially to seeing Cherry. Two weeks without seeing her had been way too long, and I couldn't even express how grateful I was to be in her presence now, the presence of my best friend… and my crush.
 
"I missed you so much," She says, instantly pulling me into a hug, our bodies so close, touching, my head nestled in her blonde waves.
 
"I missed you, too!" I say, pulling out and holding her there, "It was fun, but I couldn't wait to come back to you,"
 
"Awh," She smiles at me, a soft smile, before taking my hand, "Let's go upstairs, we have to catch up!"
 
I don't object, instead just closing the door behind me, entering the house and letting Cherry lead me up the staircase and into her bedroom, the bedroom I'd been in before, everything still so familiar and the same. I sit down next to her on her bouncy bed, immediately tucking my legs underneath me in attempt to get comfortable. I look at her though, "So what's been up with you? Anything exciting happen while I was gone?" I grin.
 
She shakes her head, "Nope… everything's been pretty boring without you here… thank God you're back though, I need you to liven things up a bit,"
 
"Liven things up a bit? How so?" I bite my lip.
 
"I think you know what I'm talking about," She grins before leaning in and kissing me softly.
 
I don't know how this started. Part of me didn't even understand it. But right before I left, we would kiss. Randomly, occasionally, it was just something that would happen. But we weren't together. We'd flirt with each other, kissing in private, a kiss of friendship maybe?
I didn't know what it even was. All I knew was that I liked it… I liked her. But I did want more. I wanted a relationship with her. But with the basis we were on right now, the chances of that didn't seem likely.
 
I pull out, "I know exactly what you're talking about,"
 
"We should do something tonight," She says flopping down on her back.
 
"Like what?"
 
"I don't know… go to the bar, go to the club, go somewhere! I'm bored…"
 
"Well, hopefully I can fix that for you," I smile at her.
 
"Good," She grins at me. "Then we're going to the bar tonight," She says looking up at me, "You still have your fake ID, right?"
 
"Yep, always have it,"
 
"Good… it'll come in handy tonight," She smiles.
 
- -
 
Cherry and I get ready quickly after a few hours of talking, the sun has already set when we're in the car, driving towards the town square to head into one of our favorite bars.
We're both ready for the night life too. My straight locks have been transformed into sexy tousles, my eyes rimmed with black eyeliner smudged out and a lot of mascara topped with false eyelashes. The buttons on my blouse have been popped open to reveal a bit of my nude, lacy bra, my legs glimmered with fake tan, leggier than ever in my short shorts.
 
"Thank God we're going to a bar," I say watching as Cherry drives. "I haven't had a drink in forever,"
 
"They don't give you alcohol in Cannes?"
 
"They do… but champagne… I like it, but not for two weeks straight," I grin, "I'm dying for a martini though,"
 
Cherry looks at me, "Well, whatever the Italian princess wants, the Italian princess gets."
 
"I'm an Italian princess?" I question, raising an eyebrow.
 
"You're /my/ Italian princess," She says, parking the car and getting out, me following in her footsteps up onto the sidewalk and into the bar.
Inside, it's colder, the air conditioning blasting, a refreshment from the humid, hot Californian air. But we head straight to the bar, glancing at the few people in booths, and the few people on stools sipping drinks. We hop up onto a barstool, looking to the bartender, who looks pointedly at us before we flash him our fake IDs.
 
"Can I get a martini?" I request with a grin.
 
"One margarita," Cherry smiles alongside me.
 
"Coming up." He nods to us before preparing the drinks, the alcoholic beverages quickly coming our way.
 
"So," Cherry leans in to her drink, taking a sip, "Were there any cute guys in Cannes?"
 
Funny how she'd ask me this, rather than asking about any cute girls in Cannes. But then again, I was so unsure of it. Did I like boys or girls? I still liked boys, yet I found myself attracted to Cherry… It was strange, undefinable, not that I would want to define or put any sort of definition on it anytime soon.
 
"Yeah," I shrug, nonchalantly taking a sip of my martini, the liquor I'd been craving drifting down the river of my throat.
 
"Hook up with any of them?" She raises her eyebrows suggestively.
 
"Of course not!" I shriek, gulping down some more of my drink.
 
"Well why not?" She pouts. "It is summer you know… summer is the time to get some,"
 
I laugh, "I'm not into that kind of thing,"
 
"What kind of thing?"
 
"Hook ups… anything of that sort," I explain with an awkward shrug.
 
"Why? I don't understand why… I mean, you're hot and you like having fun. You're the perfect candidate," She goes on, "You don't like se.x, do you? You never really talk about it or mention it… ever."
 
"Hey, wanna dance?" I say suddenly, motioning towards the little dance floor, where only a few people had gathered as a mainstream song blared over the speakers, "I love this song," I say finishing off my drink, leaving Cherry's question unanswered. I didn't feel like answering anything involved with relationships. I wasn't in the mood to talk about this, this subject I spent a majority of my life avoiding. I didn't want to discuss why I wasn't like the other teens who were banging every five seconds… why I didn't like se.x. Why I absolutely despised it.
 
She looks at me, as if contemplating this before taking my hand and allowing me to pull her to the dance floor, where we dance, our bodies in close proximity just as she whispers in my ear, "You're good at changing the subject… you know that?"

ll Perfect Words- Outasight ll
-
"So, you're saying you don't trust guys?" Reid says, glancing over at me, one hand on the steering wheel, one on the armrest, so suave while driving us to the location of our second date.
I never knew I would enjoy conversations so much. Especially conversations that involved opening up in the slightest. I was usually reserved when it came to talking about my trust issues, with men especially, but while talking about past relationships with Reid, the good, the bad, the ugly, we had found a common ground, something we both could use in order to relate to each other. We related because we agreed that honestly, we regretted past relationships so much.
Reid didn't seem the type to really regret relationships. I could see him as simply moving on, and letting that be that. But knowing that her regretted all of the cheerleaders and elite popular girls he had dated, it made me not as ashamed to admit to the regret and remorse of dating multiple drug dealers, party boys, and some boys that were just downright awful. Reid knew, he understood. He shared his stories, his experiences, and it was okay. It was comfortable and I found myself actually enjoying talking about it.
I guess after holding it in for so long, it was nice to let it out to someone who understood, someone who would listen.
 
"I'm not saying I don't entirely trust guys," I say defensively, "I'm just saying that after so many bad experiences with them, my guard is up sometimes. It's not necessarily a bad thing."
 
"Having your guard up is a good and a bad thing," He points out, looking at me for a split second, "It means you can protect yourself from getting hurt, but then you shut people out and you're unsure of who you can trust in the first place."
 
I think about it for the moment, "Okay, I see what you're saying, but it's easier to protect yourself from the hurt than let people in… because sometimes when you let people in, you end up getting hurt. Wouldn't you just rather protect yourself?"
 
"It's nice to protect yourself, but… isn't it nice to take that chance?"
 
"No." I answer bluntly.
 
"It is though," He says softly, "Even if you're risking yourself to hurt, something good may come out of it. And if you don't take that shot then you'll never know what could have been, whether it be good or bad,"
 
"So… like you and me," I say slowly, my mind wrapping around the words my brain was processing to say. "I had my guard up when I met you because I was hesitant of your past, and a bit of my past, but now that I've taken the chance and given you a chance, I realize it was worth it,"
 
He parks the car, "Exactly, see, you're getting it, Sienna," He winks at me and I grin, getting out of the car and stepping up onto the downtown sidewalk.
 
"Little by little," I muse as he holds the door open to the restaurant before prancing in beside me, getting our table and sitting down.
 
"I have to say I was a little surprised that you agreed to a second date," He says, grabbing his menu.
 
"Why?" I ask, "The first one did go pretty good,"
 
He shrugs, "I assumed that even if it was a good date, you wouldn't admit you liked it. You seemed like those moody, hiding-feelings type of girl,"
 
I laugh, "Please, that's a type of girl?"
 
"In my book it is," His strong shoulders shrug before he flashes me a smile.
 
"And in the book you probably have a lot of girls,"
 
"Enough about my book," He snaps jokingly.
 
"Fine, fine," I settle, smirking to myself for a second. "Ah, we get along so great," I smile lightly.
 
Reid laughs, "And that's why we'd be great together,"
 
"Getting ahead of yourself," I murmur.
 
"You did promise me something though," He looks at me, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
 
"A kiss," I say, recalling our last encounter, "Which you'll get when I want and am ready to give,"
 
He gives me a look, "You promised though," He pouts.
 
"Maybe I'll be ready at the end of this date… you never know. I am such a mystery after all," I laugh lightly to myself.
 
"You are, it's exactly what I like in you too,"
 
"You're a kiss up,"
 
"It's not kissing up if it's the truth," He points out.
 
I roll my eyes at him as the waitress comes by, taking our orders and collecting our menus in the process. Taking a sip of my soda, I glance at him, really taking his physical appearance all in. He really was a handsome, cute guy. I could clearly see the obvious appeal to him. And as I got to know him even more, I saw the real, true personality appeal that drew me in, and in, and in, until my feelings took over, slowly, like tiny little monsters attacking my heart, one by one, making me want him even more.
"As if that's the truth," I bat him off.
 
"It is," He says honestly, looking at me, looking me dead set in the eyes.
 
"Whatever you say, Reid… whatever you say,"
- -
This date goes by slower, time seeming to stop just for us as we get the opportunity to really just inhale this date and enjoy it.
But then it's over, and partially, I'm happy because I'm tired and my feet hurt because of the uncomfortable shoes, but I'm also sad because it's been such a good date.
I feel so genuinely happy, right then, at that very moment and it almost saddened me because I was terrified as to whether or not I'd feel like this again.
Hopefully the next time I would be with Reid, I would feel like this.
 
"Well, I hope you had a good night," I smile as Reid and I stop at my doorstep.
 
"I did… but I think you're forgetting something," He says, biting his lip for a second.
 
"Hm, am I?" I ask, even though I do remember. My promise, my guarantee. Something I had to give him. Something I waned to give him and lastly, something I was horrified to give him.
I felt like my thirteen year old self, so nervous for her first kiss with a beautiful boy. It's been such a long time since I had kissed someone. A long time since a kiss from me was even meaningful at that.
But I have to forget all of that, all of the thoughts, the worry, the confusion, the tiny monsters called feelings attacking my heart, and so I do, for that one second of vulnerability as I leaned in and up to his face, kissing him, his hand reaching out to cup my face.
 
I break the kiss after a moment, pulling away, and taking one more backwards step towards my door, placing my hand on the knob, "So, do this again sometime?" I ask.
 
"Oh trust me, we'll be doing a lot more of this this summer," He smiles at me before backing up, "Good night, Sienna,"
 
"Good night, Reid," I say before turning my back to him.